Full
I am stuck.
For so long,
I, now, feel nothing;
my desires, my hunger,
my thirst, dwindling.
But I feel peaceful,
safe, because I do not
have to make any choices.
The ones I made before
still remain.
Amnesia keeps me helpless,
and almost blind
to how I have given up.
Instead of forcing
myself to dream
and follow-through,
I am driven towards nothing.
I see only a stop sign.
A dead end.
A sadness envelops me,
because I don’t know
how to free myself of this
soft prison. I can sleep
and never come out
of my cocoon.
But I am stuck,
and my interaction with the world,
is slowly falling away.
Somehow, I have returned
to where I once was
a decade ago,
except that was out of
desperation.
Somehow,
my only source
of light,
is a single sun.
The other friends
that lit a path out of my
slumber, have burnt out
because I let them.
How do I move
out of my comfort zone?
Is there a ritual I
must perform?
A séance,
to bring back
my former self?
I can only crawl out.
But for now,
my emotions and wants
are buried deep,
not even painfully so,
anymore.
Paralyzed inside.
Which will happen first:
shriveling up
from deep dehydration?
Or a dream
that I can dig through,
and find another side?
What will push me?
I am already asleep.
How do I wake myself up
from cozy slumber?
Cradled into nothingness.
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