Full                                                  

 

I am stuck.

For so long,

I, now, feel nothing;

my desires, my hunger,

my thirst, dwindling.

But I feel peaceful,

safe, because I do not

have to make any choices.

The ones I made before

still remain.

Amnesia keeps me helpless,

and almost blind

to how I have given up.

 

Instead of forcing

myself to dream

and follow-through,

I am driven towards nothing.

I see only a stop sign.

A dead end.

 

A sadness envelops me,

because I don’t know

how to free myself of this

soft prison. I can sleep

and never come out

of my cocoon.

 

But I am stuck,

and my interaction with the world,

is slowly falling away.

Somehow, I have returned

to where I once was

a decade ago,

except that was out of

desperation.

 

Somehow,

my only source

of light,

is a single sun.

The other friends

that lit a path out of my

slumber, have burnt out

because I let them.

How do I move

out of my comfort zone?

Is there a ritual I

must perform?

A séance,

to bring back

my former self?

 

I can only crawl out.

But for now,

my emotions and wants

are buried deep,

not even painfully so,

anymore.

Paralyzed inside.

Which will happen first:

shriveling up

from deep dehydration?

Or a dream

that I can dig through,

and find another side?

What will push me?

I am already asleep.

How do I wake myself up

from cozy slumber?

Cradled into nothingness.

 


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